What are you grateful for? With that simple question we kick off the Holiday Season here in the good ole USA, home of Thanksgiving and all the related Turkey Day traditions.

And kick it off, we do. Football and parades on the TV, topics to approach or avoid around the dinner table, trains and planes and automobiles, it’s all part of the annual ritual of gathering with friends and family to express our gratitude, firstly and fore-mostly through the enjoyment of food.

Gratitude doesn’t just ride in on it’s own. It does best when it has company. Three of the most likely companions are Kindness, Forgiveness, and Contribution. If you’re in a quandary about what to bring to the big dinner, start with these three along with your sweet potatoes and you won’t go wrong.

Remember, kindness starts with yourself. “Remind me to be nice to myself”  is how Jah Wobble phrased it in a song of the same name. You gotta ask yourself just what you’re up for and cut yourself some slack if need be.

Forgiveness comes in handy in all sorts of ways. First for yourself if there is any lingering guilt or negative feelings you may be harboring. Then for your uncle on the polar opposite of the political spectrum who can’t help but be loudly opinionated. Thanksgiving is a great time to practice rising above, turning the other cheek, and being big about things.

You might consider contribution to be the secret sauce of gratitude. Here is where I can go off on a tangent and expound on one of my favorite topics for days. You see, I feel like contribution is one of the most misunderstood concepts out there.

Sure, giving hard-earned (or ill-gained) cash dollars to a charity of choice is one form of contribution. But beyond the donations and grants and GoFundMe’s of the world there are innumerable ways to contribute.

Once upon a time, back in the 80s, I was a member of what might be called the ‘transient’ set. The idea of paying rent, having a job, being responsible was simply not cool, and besides, why? I was content vagabonding around the West with my thumb out, going to shows, making the scene, and generally taking it as easy as possible.

I also allowed myself to develop a few bad habits that took me to the place many refer to as ‘rock bottom.” I remember quite clearly a year or so there where I was teetering dangerously between falling off the deep end entirely, or getting my act together some way or another.

Looking back, I can see what saved me, and it was this. I stumbled across a way to contribute. I found that the more I contributed, the more opportunities knocked. Contribution gave me a glimmer of hope that boosted what little willpower I had into dropping the worst of my habits.

Once my luck started changing it was like a rocket going into orbit. I achieved escape velocity from my sofa-surfing & warehouse-squatting lifestyle and started looking forward to all the great things the world has to offer.

In the space of a single year I went from hanging out on the sidewalk with the homeless folks on Haight Street to being on the inside of my own shop with keys in my hand sweeping miscreants out the door.

So what happened? How did I do it? Well, SRL saved my life. Survival Research Laboratories is a ‘performance art’ group headed by Mark Pauline. Think ‘theatre of machines’ with lots of flame and explosions and disturbing imagery. In my most spun-out days on the San Francisco streets, I found that I could always show up at Mark’s shop and he would find some way to put me to work, no questions asked.

Depending on my state of mind it was sometimes simply washing greasy parts in acetone or grinding the rust off scrap metal. If I was a little more on top of things I might be allowed to cut, weld, take things apart, bolt things together. There was never any pay, but if I was willing to work there was always a Mission burrito at the end of the day and an espresso in the morning. I could unroll my sleeping bag on a loft full of old motors and gears and sleep out of the rain.

My life started over when I was about 26. The five or six years I spent with SRL full time not only taught me to work but also marked a profound shift from ‘entitled brat’ to ‘contributing creative’. The day I decided to roll up my sleeves and help was the day my luck changed and doors started opening.

That’s why I say contribution is the secret sauce of gratitude. Whenever I have the chance to offer advice to someone down on their luck I tell them my story. No two situations are the same, and many obstacles seem insurmountable. But the best way out is to figure out a way to pitch in, help out, contribute in some way, shape, or form.

On that note, I leave you for another week! Have a great Thanksgiving and Holiday Season!

Much love till next Monday!

M+

Mark Metz
Director of the Dance First Association
Publisher of Conscious Dancer Magazine