Riddle me this: What is something that everyone thrives on, but no one wants too much of? To put it another way, it’s hard to live without it, but too much can be a curse.

One moment you might be craving it, and the next you could be shunning it altogether. When you’re giving it to someone else, it can be the most valuable thing in the world. And yet, if you become the unwanted focus of it, you might fervently wish to hide from it.

Some people seek it out, others avoid it at all costs. In school, it’s a form of currency. Your teachers demand that you pay it to them, at the same time it’s easy to let it wander.

Growing up, its effect can go either way. Some kids get too much of it to their detriment, while others are starved for it. What’s too little for one person can be too much for another.

Just what is this ineffable substance to which I am alluding to? Well, if you haven’t guessed by now, the answer is attention.

Everyone has a different level of affinity for it. Introverts and extroverts obviously have far different opinions on the matter. But there’s no denying that in many ways, it’s the currency by which society functions.

Every relationship begins with it, often times nothing more than a fleeting glance. Some folks are born for it. Gifted entertainers know early on that their home is under the spotlight.

When you’re at a dinner party it can be a relief when you finally get a chance to get a word in edgewise. But imagine the same situation and you’re put on the spot with a question you’d rather not answer. It can feel far different to suddenly have all eyes upon you.

Remember, attention is a two-way street. It’s a dance of giving and receiving. How you manage its path in either direction is a reflection on you. Understanding how to receive it with class is as important as knowing how to give it with grace.

If you’re receiving more than you can handle, you need to know how to practice the social jujitsu to deescalate without drama. If your love for the spotlight starts to get out of hand then you have to learn how to not let it go to your head.

Either way It’s a matter of keeping your balance. And since it’s such an important currency, it’s worth putting some effort into learning how to manage it wisely.

“Paying attention’ is really just shorthand for being present. When it’s done well it can make a world of difference.

Notice what you’re paying attention to and go one layer deeper and notice the quality of attention that you’re giving. What happens on the surface is one thing, what lands within is another.

Much love till next Monday!

M+

Mark Metz
Director of the Dance First Association
Publisher of Conscious Dancer Magazine