What’s the difference between a friend and an acquaintance? Why do some connections withstand the test of time? How can you tell which friendships are worth the effort?

Let’s face it, relationships run the gamut. From the flimsiest flicker of recognition from your favorite barista to torrid and tempestuous romances that are tested by the hands of time, we humans swim in a sea of interpersonal connections.

When you’re in your younger years, say, grade school through college, your friends can be one of the most important factors in your life. Having some Besties in your formative years can quite literally save your life.

But life tends to make different demands upon you as you get older. Careers and kids and all sorts of grown-up obligations can cause former friends to fade into the woodwork.

The funny thing about life is that it’s never too late to make a new friend, and it’s never too soon to look up an old one.

I was recently having a conversation with my kid about friends and the idea of friendship in general. I commended them because, at 14-years-old, they are showing remarkable discernment and awareness about who they choose to let into their life.

I was relating about my own experience in the past couple years, somewhere about halfway through the lockdown I began making an effort to track down some of my old cronies. Some of my far-flung friends have chosen to live under the radar with little to no social media presence or easily Googled information.

A chance post by a Twitter user with a cryptic username caught my eye one day. The image hit me like a bat signal, it was a graphic that had special significance to our underground music community from the Denver Punk Rock and Industrial Noise scene of the early 80s.

I replied with a comment and almost immediately received a private message letting me know who was behind the post. A friend from that era indeed, albeit more of an acquaintance, we inhabited opposite ends of our social circle.

He provided me with the number of our main ringleader with whom I had shared many adventures. That led to a visit in Maryland last summer, and now we talk on the phone about once a month.

Through him I gleaned info on an even more elusive buddy, now ensconced in the high desert of New Mexico. Comparing notes with him has been an amazing experience — I thought my adventures were crazy!

Then there’s my best friend from my college dorm days in Boulder. We had literally not spoken in 40 years, I had lost track of him upon my sudden departure. Several times in the past years I have attempted to track him down, only to find he has no social media footprint. I finally hit upon the idea of searching for his folks in his hometown and hit paydirt. After leaving a voicemail on his elderly parents phone, I received a call back and there he was!

For folks our age, simply surviving all of the silliness and stupidity is cause enough to celebrate. When I got on the phone with John, it was as if we picked up the conversation right where we left off in Farrand Hall on the Boulder campus in 1982. If laughter is the best medicine, then I’ve found my prescription, there’s still no man alive who can make me laugh as hard as John C.!

My theory is that if you’re thinking about getting back in touch with someone, chances are pretty good they’re thinking about you. John admitted as much to me.

Remember, you don’t need a reason to reach out and say hello. “I was thinking about you” and “It’s good to hear your voice” is enough. If you get a few belly laughs in the bargain, so much the better. Go ahead and be the one who picks up the phone.

As life goes on the material things start to lose their luster while the value of an old and trusted friend grows greater with each passing day.

Have a great week, much love until next Monday!

M+

Mark Metz
Director of the Dance First Association
Publisher of Conscious Dancer Magazine