How much do you enjoy doing things with others? What about your solo activities? Why does it matter?

On one end of the spectrum, we’ve got folks who like to do everything in a crowd. On the other, we find the meditators, solo climbers, and hermits of the world. You are probably somewhere in between, ideally finding your happy place in the world.

A growing body of work finds that for the most part, folks are happier when they are doing things with other people. Professionals who study this sort of thing do big surveys of all sorts of people all over the world to come to their conclusions, so I suppose we should pay attention.

Generalities are one thing, your individual experience of life is another. Us modern folks have all evolved from ancient ancestors, and it’s no secret that our innate ability to thrive in community and with cooperation is a big reason we’ve done so well.

While researching happiness and what makes us tick, these professionals have found that for the most part doing stuff that we love or even our daily chores in the company of others makes us happier. We are social creatures, after all.

Some of the findings are surprising. Even reading, for example, which you typically think of as a solo activity, is considered better for your well-being with company.

As someone who knows the pleasure of taking refuge from society within the pages of a good book, I would say that spending solo immersed in the consciousness of an author on your own terms is not to be underrated.

However, discussing what you’re reading or watching or doing with someone else can be very rewarding. We like to read the same book at the same time, Isabelle in French and myself in English, we discuss as we go to get different perspectives.

Like so many things in the great dance of life, the sweet spot is found in the balance. Art, creativity, and inspiration are often brought forth in solitude. Yet talking shop, comparing notes, and receiving encouragement from others is what helps propel us to the next level.

Technology has a way of blurring the lines. You might be all by yourself with your computer, while engaging in a lively meeting with other folks on Zoom. Are you alone or in community? Somewhere in between?

Think of it this way. Almost anything you enjoy doing by yourself may hold the potential for community building and engagement. Sometimes simply connecting one-on-one with another aficionado is enough to move the needle.

If you’re feeling stuck or frustrated with one aspect of your life or another, see if you can find a way to bring human connection into the equation. Two sets of senses are greater than one.

Communities can be large or small, and they can coalesce around any number of activities or interests. It all starts with that first conversation. A dance, if you will.

With over eight billion people sharing the planet with you, there’s no need to go it alone. Savor your solitude when it nourishes you, and make the most of community when you can. We’re all in it together, when you are balanced you’ve got more to give.

Much love till next Monday!

Merci et à bientôt!

M+

ML #653

Mark Metz
Monday Love Movement Calendar