Look immediately in front of you. Take a glance at your calendar or your clock. Cast your eyes on the path ahead.

Besides whatever is obvious in your field of view, what do you see? From one step ahead of you, to years in your future, you are faced with a multitude of choices.

At the outside edge of every present moment, there are decisions to be made. Right or left? Yes or no? Step onto the dance floor or sit this one out?

If you could view your life as a flow chart, you would look in the rearview mirror to see a meandering path through an infinite number of choices, and look ahead at a blank slate of pure potential.

Nested inside each choice is another binary equation that boils down to the question of: Are you taking action? Or are you reacting to something? Between those you will find your stance.

The universe seems to like it when you are proactive and take the initiative. When you’re faced with something challenging, like an interpersonal situation you might prefer to avoid, the best strategy is to bite the bullet and get it over with.

My litmus test for this is if I find myself rehearsing my lines in anticipation of a tricky conversation, that means it’s time to face the music and drive straight into it.

When you are taking action, you have the luxury of agency. When you are reacting, you need to be ready with resilience. Regardless of whether you are reacting or taking action, the more grounded you are the better off you will be.

Let’s say someone presents you with an idea about yourself that makes you uncomfortable. You could choose to simply get angry, or you could decide to observe your discomfort.

The path of anger is predictable, and it might keep your ego intact. You can defend yourself, deny, deflect, blame, or attack the source. You might wind up feeling ‘right’, but you’ve missed the the opportunity to experience the discomfort of self-examination and you will stay the same.

Now, instead of getting angry, were you to choose to observe your discomfort and get curious about what you’re feeling, you may well wind up in a different place altogether. If you were quite sure that there was no truth to the idea, you could simply accept being misunderstood and move on.

On the other hand, should you find a grain of truth in the uncomfortable idea, you have the option of using this information to help you grow. You could take the blow to your ego and resolve to repair yourself. It’s not the easiest path from the outset, but in the end, self-confrontation leads to self-development.

Think of it like this. Every time you grow a little bit, the ground beneath your feet becomes a little more solid. If you dance through life choosing personal growth over preservation of your ego, you’ll find the path gets easier as you go along.

Stepping lively till next week, much love till then!

M+

Mark Metz
Director of the Dance First Association
Publisher of Conscious Dancer Magazine