This week’s Dance First Member Insight is from Karina Pais!

Since I was a little girl, I remember always being drawn to dancing. It was my way of expressing something more profound than the words I could pronounce at that early age. I felt so connected with dancing that I thought that was what I wanted to do: to be a dancer. I did not know if I would fit the average standards of a ballerina or any other type of dancer. I just knew that was what I loved, and when I started asking around, at some point, I was told that was not possible for me since I had flat feet.
I must have been around seven or eight years old, and it was a turning point in my childhood. I knew I had this need to express myself creatively, and since dance was out of the question, I turned to fine arts. That became my life. I am now an artist. I have the life of such, with the art projects, the exhibits, the artwork, but I never stopped dancing. Why? Because that has always been the quickest and truest way to express myself and to connect deeply inside.

DANCING MY HEART OUT
In all those years growing up, I kept dancing, not for a goal in life, not for others. I was dancing just for me, for the pure pleasure of my heart, and because I needed it to maintain balance in my life, to help me make sense of the world around me. And I danced through my childhood all the way up to my adult life. Whenever I danced, I would find some private time, away from everyone else, and just dive into the process. As my relationship with dancing became stronger, I realized it was always going to be in my life; it was actually part of who I was. A very important part of my being. I also realized that the way I was dancing did not conform to any rules or standards of what is considered “dancing.” I was not dancing to look pretty or to be perfect. I was dancing my heart out, and that was all that mattered.

At some point, this urge to dance and have a safe space to do it became a real concern for me. Sharing space with other people made me aware of how I felt about my love for dancing and how open I was to share something so private with other people. It seemed that during my experience with dancing, I would go into this space of pure creation and inner connection. It was hard for me to “come out of the closet,” as I call it now, and be willing to let others see me while dancing. I always felt I would look really weird. It was such a concern that I even questioned how I would live with somebody if I could not share this with my partner. This “thing” that I do, that I need to do to keep me sane, centered, and connected with my true self.

Little did I know at that time, in my late 30s, that there were other people out there feeling a similar need to dance and let go in a safe environment, free from any conventions, prejudice, and judgment. And more importantly, that also felt the desire to connect deeply through dance.

DISCOVERING THE PATH
I arrived in Miami in 2006, and after three years, in 2009, I was introduced for the first time to the whole concept of Conscious Movement. That experience opened my eyes and completely changed me. Until then, I did not know there was a “practice,” that there were many different types of “modalities,” and moreover, that this had been going on since the 70s. I inevitably found myself learning about Gabrielle Roth and her legacy of the “dancing path,” which deeply resonated in my heart. Her wisdom and groundedness made me realize I wanted to express this in my life; I wanted to experience what Conscious Movement was.

It took me a year after learning about this amazing teacher to make my way to a local conscious movement practice called “Prayerdanse” (yes, it’s spelled with an “s”). As soon as I arrived in the beautiful open space and my feet were greeted by the dance floor, I saw a large group of people just dancing, totally oblivious of anyone watching, completely immersed in the process; letting go. I was ecstatic! Very soon after, I found myself joining the group, dancing, jumping with pure joy, and feeling tears of laughter running through my face. I could not believe it! I had found a container, a community. I had found my own kind, but most importantly, I had found my path.

DANCE INITIATIONS
Like many things in life that at some point, somehow, get aligned so we can live and express our passion, there were a series of events that led me to first attend consistently as many conscious movement sessions as I could and eventually get trained to be a Conscious Movement Teacher.

I had the opportunity to train with Toni Bergins from JourneyDance™, became certified as an apprentice of her modality, and afterward started teaching locally at a small yoga studio. I kept going to Prayerdanse and eventually participated in this beautiful modality’s first Teacher Training Program created by Rachel Levy. This allowed me to deepen my practice and experience holding space for larger groups. I held Prayerdanse practice as a teacher a couple of times, which helped me grow more confident of my conscious movement offering. It made me more aware of how important it was for me to be of service and share the healing potential of dancing. I also had the wonderful experience of attending several 5Rhythms sessions and workshops led by Amber Ryan, who is truly a great inspiration.

In Gratitude
I want to express my deepest gratitude to all the beautiful beings I have encountered along the way. Everyone who has been part of this wonderful discovery and re-connection with that mystical part of my body, of myself, that has always been part of my spirit. Thank you to all the dancing Godmothers who initiated me on this path. Thank you, Rachel, Toni, and Amber, for all your wisdom; thank you, all the brothers and sisters I have met who helped me align with my own path. I have been fortunate enough to be able to create my own dance offering, and I embark now on the experience of sharing what I have absorbed and learned from all of them.