Why is before so different than after? Is life just an endless series of finish lines? How does the feeling of “going to do something” differ from the feeling of “having done something”?

Zoom out and look at the big picture of your day-to-day life. You might see it as an endless procession of starting things, doing things, and finishing things. Some trivial, commonplace, daily — and some rare, epic, and life-changing.

The amount of pleasure and satisfaction, (or anxiety and stress), really depends on the stakes of any individual outcome. Trivial matters come and go without a thought, while larger projects with deep emotional impact are often fraught with trepidation.

When it comes to things like brushing your teeth, making breakfast, or getting a haircut, there’s not much pressure or decision fatigue involved — you just roll right through without thinking much about the process.

Big creative projects, on the other hand, can get you wrapped up in emotional hurdles, self-doubt, and the biggest cosmic pothole of all, perfectionism.

Designing and offering a workshop. Creating a painting, a sculpture, or an artwork with your hands. Writing a book.

These things are different because there’s a vast gulf between “going to do them” and having them done. Being finished means your results will be out there in the world getting judged by regular folks just like you.

That’s the scary part. That’s why it can be nerve-racking to have a long simmering unfinished project. It may take forever, but it still feels safer to be on the familiar before side than the unknown after.

The stakes are different when your ego is on the line. The thing to remember is that done beats perfect pretty much every time.

Striving for perfection to the point of paralysis is a fools game. Far better to develop a healthy relationship with ‘good enough’ and focus your practice on the process.

If you insist upon perfect, your goal will always be just a little further down the line. Folks who are not you will see your work as good enough while you will still be agonizing over details that anyone else would miss.

It puts you through the wringer. I speak from experience, I recently graduated from the “writing a book” to “wrote a book”.

People will notice that you have some particular talent. They will tell you you should do something or create something or make something.

You have one big idea, or too many to choose from. Flashes of inspiration get you excited about what the finished product could look like.

Then the work begins. Months, years, a decade? High-flying moments of excitement stalled by bouts of self-doubt. Imposter syndrome hides behind every corner.

You have to remember that the world will be a better place with your creativity in it. I often think of John Kennedy Toole who wrote Confederacy of Dunces. Self-doubt got the better of him, and he took his own life.

His mother found the manuscript in his desk drawer and passed it on to an editor. Only then, and too late for him to see it, his work was recognized as brilliant.

So the message is: Don’t wait! Whatever it is that you’re passionate about doing, go ahead and get it done. No one will fault you for being less than perfect, the fact is, they probably won’t know the difference.

So dial down the importance of perfection and amplify the pleasures of the process. It’s like that guy who said that good marketing is like brushing your teeth. It doesn’t have to be perfect — it only works when you’re consistent.

Much love till next Monday!

Merci et à bientôt!

M+

ML #696

Mark Metz
Monday Love Movement Calendar