Have you ever been asked to speak in front of a group? Did it make you freeze up like a deer in the headlights? Why is it that public speaking is right up there with skydiving when it comes to scary things people would do anything to avoid?

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting at the symposium and it’s someone’s turn to speak. They pick up the mic and step up to the podium, and you can practically feel the beads of sweat bubbling to the surface of their skin.

Their voice cracks as they start to speak, they’re holding the microphone way too low, you can barely hear the words that are coming out of their mouth as they falter over each sentence, and you and the rest of the audience sink deeper into your seats as you start to cringe.

The embarrassment is palpable, and you share the sinking feeling that you know is in the pit of their stomach, counting the moments until the ordeal is over when they can finally escape from the spotlight.

What’s even worse is if that person is you. To up the stakes, you’ve been asked to talk about yourself or your work or something equally personal. The spotlight is bad enough, being asked to hold a mirror up to yourself while you’re in it is beyond the pale.

So what is one to do? These moments inevitably arise in almost everyone’s life, no matter how carefully you engineer your circumstances to avoid such things. The fact is, one day you may be asked to speak!

Well, it turns out there’s a simple trick to flip the script and make your presentation a success. I’ll spare you all of the common advice that can be surfaced with a quick internet search. If the butterflies in your stomach are turning into bats in your belfry, imagining the audience naked is not going to help.

Take a tip from the great comedy duos of the world — you need a sidekick. Prior to your time at the podium, tell the organizer that you will be sharing the stage with a partner and making your presentation a Q&A. Pick that one limelight-loving friend who is up for anything and ask them to help. If no one is handy, ask the emcee to step in.

We stumbled across this trick somewhat by accident. Longtime readers are probably aware that my darling sweetheart Isabelle, who appears with me in our weekly selfie, is one of the world’s premier artisans in the field of handcut wooden jigsaw puzzles. (To marvel at her work, follow her on Instagram. For a chance to collect a one-of-a-kind puzzle, go to Puzzlapy.com and get on her mailing list).

As someone recognized as being among the top of her field, she is sometimes asked to do a presentation at public puzzle events. As a soft-spoken French native to whom English is a second language, the idea of speaking in public appeals to her about as much as bungee jumping.

Two years ago at the bi-annual Puzzle Parley, she reluctantly gave a solo presentation that proved to be a test of her nerves. Last week in San Francisco was the Puzzle Quake, where she was asked to speak, so we put our heads together and came up with a different approach.

I played the role of sidekick, standing up to introduce her and prompting her with questions. Lo and behold, with just the slightest verbal nudge from me, she was confident and assertive and spoke clearly to the crowd. I only spoke a few brief words to break the ice. That’s all it took for her to take the ball and run with it, and by all accounts it was an outstanding presentation.

Apparently, there’s a big difference between being on the spot yourself versus reacting to someone else asking you questions. You can plan ahead with your partner and get your answers in mind, and let them balance the energy between you and the crowd.

For folks who love it, sharing the spotlight is a big no-no. For everyone else, having that helper to tamp down the dread is a lifesaver. When it comes to making your point in public, remember, you don’t have to go it alone!

Much love wherever the limelight finds you!

M+

Mark Metz
Director of the Dance First Association
Publisher of Conscious Dancer Magazine

(PS: It was an effort to not write about the state of democracy in the world today. As a rule, aside from occasionally exhorting you to vote, Monday Love spares you from politics and current events. For those sorts of conversations, follow me on Mastodon.)