“Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.”

~ don Miguel Ruiz

Have you ever heard the phrase “pick your battles?” Do you ever get in over your head and sometimes wish that you had just “left well enough alone?” Do you know anyone who is short on tact, but long on controversy?

Part of growing up and leading a happy life is “knowing when to hold ‘em, and when to fold ‘em.” Out of The Four Agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz, two of them really work well together. “Be impeccable with your word” and “Don’t make assumptions” fit together like hand in glove. “Always do your best” and “Don’t take anything personally” come in really handy as well, in a more overarching sense.

Nowhere are these lessons more important than in our family life and personal relationships. And it’s important to understand the difference between “bottling stuff up” and “letting sleeping dogs lie.” If something really needs to be said, but it’s hard to find the words and it’s running around inside your head like a buzzing bee, then it usually feels really good to get it off your chest, ideally expressing yourself with as much kindness and understanding as possible.

On the other hand, when it’s obvious that pushing an opinion or a certain point of view is going to go nowhere, then the kindest choice sometimes is to simply let it slide and go with the flow, and choose not to bother with the topic at all for the benefit of all involved. And you can usually discern who might be open to shifting their point of view and who is totally set in their ways.

Case in point, my recent Father’s Day visit to see my Dad up in Oregon. Over the years, I’ve had to re-evaluate a lot of the beliefs and preconceived notions that I grew up with. Save the best, discard the rest. He’s done very well for himself over the years in business, with a very conservative and organized approach that I would do well to emulate more closely.

And he’s kept his health up admirably well too. At 90, he looks pretty much exactly the same to me as he did at 75. Although he says that “I was doing great until this last birthday, something about turning 90 really slows you down!” Considering that he’s not really on any medication, drives his dog to the park every day, and is mentally sharp as a tack, I think he’s doing quite well. (That’s him with me and his little dog Duke in the photo above.)

As we were visiting last week, he grumbled about being disgusted with the news. In the interest of calm family relations, I’ve avoided the topic of politics entirely since at least the Nixon years. When we skirt the issue I stick with vague philosophical generalities like “It’s unbelievable how polarized things have gotten nowadays!”

My older brother on the other hand, has always been willing to dive into a debate with Dad. As you might imagine, a political discussion between a dyed-in-the-wool 60’s radical and a somewhere-to-the-right-of-Reagan curmudgeon isn’t going to turn out well. Sadly enough, for that and other reasons, they aren’t on the greatest of terms anymore.

I was a wee bit curious about his thoughts on the current situation in Washington, and to see if his support for “the-business-guy-shaking-up-the-government” had wavered any, so I brought up something I’d been thinking about concerning the news media in general. I said “Do you remember Walter Cronkite, and how it used to be that when the major news media reported on something, most people tended to believe it?”

I talked about the federal policy known as the Fairness Doctrine, that used to insist that the news media base their reporting in verifiable facts. From 1949 till 1987, holders of broadcast licenses were obligated to “present controversial issues of public importance in a manner that was honest, equitable, and balanced.” The doctrine was eliminated due to pressure from Ronald Reagan, opening the door to our current landscape of ‘alternative facts’ and opinion shows masquerading as news reports.

He agreed with me in general, and said some nice words of reminiscence for the good-old-days of Walter Cronkite. But when he said “Well, nowadays the only news that seems fair and balanced is on Fox, that’s where you get the real story” I knew that our conversation was over. I shrugged, mumbled something to the effect of “Yep, that pretty much sums it up” and steered our chat towards the current weather in Coos Bay.

Dad has every right to be set in his ways, and far be it from me to try to change his thinking at this point. I can still love him for who he is, and quietly agree to disagree. I hope that first of all, I make it to 90 in as good of shape as he’s in, and that I’m perhaps just a bit more flexible and open minded when my kids share their ideas and opinions with me.

You probably have loved ones in your life that differ in opinion, as well as young ones or relatives that may still relish your perspective. Your ability to dance may inform the way you relate with the world, and knowing when to model your values and when to simply go with the flow is all part of the grand metaphor of life.

Remember the Four Agreements and balance your path with love and kindness and you’ll find your way forward with ease and grace. You’ve got dance as your ace in the hole!

Much love! May your week be easy and your relations be smooth!

Mark Metz
Director of the Dance First Association
Publisher of Conscious Dancer Magazine

Toni Bergins

Dance First Member Spotlight: Toni Bergins and JourneyDance!

It’s with great delight that I shine the spotlight on Toni Bergins, creator of JourneyDance this week! She’s one of our original Conscious Dancer fans and someone who has been a hard-working mover and shaker in the world of movement for many years.

From her humble beginnings as one of Kripalu’s most well-loved facilitators to her current status at the helm of a dynamic transformative modality, Toni’s enthusiasm and ebullience shines through. JourneyDance has grown from being an energetic East Coast phenomenon to a global network of teachers and trainers offering classes, workshops, and teacher trainings around the world.

I’ve watched JourneyDance graduate from being a practice that Toni taught, to being a movement that she holds the vision for. When a leader develops a methodology and starts teaching it to others, it’s a practice. When that leaders scales up and empowers a team of trainers to show other people how to teach, then it becomes a movement.

Toni has spent the last two decades refining JourneyDance, which is celebrating it’s 20th birthday this year. In recent years she has focused on the shamanic and transformational aspects of the work. JourneyDance trainings are often sought out for the personal development aspects as much as the holistic movement career building opportunities.

We recently spoke about her current offering that she is super excited about — a year-long three-part  “Embodied Leadership Personal Empowerment Training.” Each module takes place at the Kripalu Center in Lenox, Massachusetts with continuous support and community bonding provided throughout the year.

The program is designed to “tap deeply into your inner power, presence, wisdom, clarity and confidence” and help that “emerge through embodiment and expressive processes.” Toni is delighted to be putting together all of her most highly developed techniques and practices into one full year program. This is the whole enchilada!

Says Toni: “Layered with expressive dance, rich musical landscapes, somatic awareness, creativity, energetic touch, and sacred drama, the JourneyDance Embodied Leadership Personal Empowerment Training program explores physical and energetic practices that increase your capacity for love, joy, connection, freedom, and leadership.”

Learn more about each of the modules that are posted on the Conscious Dancer MoveMap and reach out to Toni and her team to answer all your questions and see if you are a match for this dynamic offering.

Toni! Thank you so much for all your hard work and leadership in the field of Conscious Dance! Your encouragement to launch the Dance First Association was instrumental in taking this project to the next level, and I’m proud to be representing leaders like you! I highly recommend your work to our entire audience and wish you well with all your valuable endeavors!

JourneyDance™ Module One: The Embodiment Experience
July 30 – Aug 4, Kripalu, Lenox, MA

JourneyDance™ Module Two: Structures & Ritual
November 5-11, Kripalu, Lenox, MA

JourneyDance™ Module 3: Transformational Facilitation
April 29 – May 4, 2018, Kripalu, Lenox, MA